For Sam, With Love

The first guy I ever went on a date with was Sam Pinder. We had always been really great friends and one day my sophomore year of high school, Sam asked to be my boyfriend. He was so nervous and so cute. He had a ring with two little diamonds surrounding my birth stone. I said yes. He was a flamming gay guy, and I was a little dyke in training; we made a cute couple. We went to the Kappa Pearl's Ball and the Military Ball together that year. I liked him a lot. He bought me roses just because, gave me sweet cards and ballons, always held my hand, and always knew the best gossip about what was going on in the school. We lasted for about 7 months, but we were always friends. I saw him in 2002 at Pride with his current boyfriend. He caught me up about all the people who were out in our class. I laughed, remembering how hetero we all played it at MHS. We said goodbye and promised to keep in touch. We never did, but I always thought about him.

Sam transitioned last week and his funeral was Saturday. I didn't find out about it until Monday, so I missed the ceremony. He will always be the best boyfriend I ever had. Right now, his passing is my reminder to live life fully because all we have is right now, as Mie said. She just tattoed "one day you will be nostalgic for now" on her leg. The reality is, one day I {you} will no longer exist in this world. Thus giving urgency to right now. I like that. I like thinking of what each moment after this one will look like if it is lived with the urgency and importance it deserves. Wow. What if we all did that?

I guess that's all I have to say...