Gettin' Shit Done

I am sitting at my desk with a ton of responsibilities, but no motivation. I wanted to find a job that allowed me to determine the best way to get stuff done, and now that I have it, I feel a little overwhelmed. I know that I will pull everything together in the next few days, but I wish I was more motivated right now. I recognize this feeling. I am sabotaging my job right now. I recognize that I will have to put myself out on a limb to get things done, and instead of living up to my full potential, I am sabotaging everything so I do not have to risk failing once I have given my all. Now what? How do I move past this truth? I do not have time to take baby-steps, cuz I have a deadline next Tuesday. Normally, I would just ignore my issues until it is the day of the deadline. Then I would throw something together that ends up being a good report, and gets me a small amount of praise. What if this time, I actually worked on my stuff ahead of time? What if I actually committed to being successful in this project, and put my all into it? What if I stepped out on that limb, with the faith that even if I fell, I would still be ok? What if I decided that I love myself too much to always sabotage work that would indicate my real potential? Fuck what ifs! Fuck them! I am going to do this project. I am going to get this shit done because I always go into my head when I am challenged, and I am tired of it. I am going to move past "processing" shit, and just doing it!

I forgive myself for being afraid of my own greatness. I see my truth for all that it really is. I will move, knowing that I am always protected, loved, and that I am equipped with everything I need to be successful.

Aight, time to work!

~J