Racism and Sh*t!

I have been avoiding coverage of Hurricane Katrina, just as I have been avoiding conversations about my depression. Nde is always telling me that I am stronger than I think. I kinda know that, but it does not always feel true. Like right now. I have had an upset stomach all morning, I had small beef with boss lady over some bullsh*t, and I am really pissed about the news coverage of Katrina and the racist government's lack of response. Sooooo, I was just about to give some money ($10 is all i can afford) to Dillard University and I panicked. I felt like that wind was about to catch me and throw my black ass to the now severely damaged school that once offered me a presidential scholarship. Or put my black ass in a dome sitting in my own waste, next to another brown face, and tell me that I am underprivileged and used to living like this. I panic cuz I am in such a dark place, but I am comfortable in a job that I hate, but I still get my bills (even the unexpected $1,000 deductible) paid. I panic cuz I am not used to living in hell, and no one in America should be. I panic because I am hurting so deep in my core, and I don't know how to make it stop.

Nde's kids compared the super dome to the middle passage. Africans on slave ships being held against their will, away from home and family and everything they knew was true, sitting in their own shit, watching babies and elders dying all around them while the future slave masters make comments about them being used to these conditions cuz these aren't people, they are subhuman, they are savages. SHIT! It only takes a few moments to put Black folks this same position. The only difference is that the dome did not have physical chains. They just had armed guards at check points pointing guns at any one who dared to try to walk to better conditions. But you know, black people are underprivileged and used to these conditions, isn't that right Barbara Bush. Listen to her, she sounds all happy and light and shit. Did she giggle? What the fuck is the world coming to?!?!

URRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGG!