Thank God for Sangria!
Evolving, Drinking, Gettin Back on the Good Foot...
I hung out with my bestest friend from high school last night. I was hella nervous cuz I knew she would ask who I was dating, and I knew I would have to respond with info on poo face, meaning I would have to tell her that I'm a big ole lesbian. We really hadn't seen each other since 1999 at her sister's funeral. Plus, her family knows Nde's family from back in the day on some Black political Atl shit. And to top it all off, Nde took dance at their family's dance studio way way way back in the day. Coming out to her would also involve outing poo face; needless to say I was not looking forward to that convo.
So there we were, my bestest friend from high school and I chillin at Twist. I ask her to give me the play by play of her life since 1999. She talks about boys and school and jobs, etc. I am freakin out cuz I was hoping she would mention being gay or hint that she knew I was gay or somethin! She did not. She is the most hetero girl on earth!!!! Grrrrrreat. Now it's my turn. I stuttered, blushed, covered my face with the napkin, whined a little (the baby in me was out full force), swallowed hard and asked if I could start my play by play from the present. She said, sure (looking at me as though all the theatrics were indications of me losing my mind). I sipped my yummy sangria, buying some time, and then I was ready. I said, "I am in a committed relationship right now"... (pause, sip sangria)..."we have been dating on and off for about a year and a half"... (pause, sip sangria)..."you know the person"... (pause, look at her face for any hint that she already knows what I am going to say)..."The person I am dating is...ummm...ummm...Ndelea!!!!"
She looked as if I had said the craziest shit she'd ever heard in her life! She chugged her margarita and screamed "WHAT!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!?” The waitress comes over; either alerted by the screams or the now empty glasses of alcohol in front of us. My bestest friend from high school orders another round of drinks and immediately starts gulping once her glass arrives. I was completely shocked! I found it hard to believe that in the past 5 or so years of me being out of the closet, no one had told her anything. We have lived in the same city, knowing the same people, going to the same places, and no one gossiped about my sexuality? No one hinted that I had gotten turned out at ole Aggie? No one at all? Wow! From the screams of disbelief that continued for at least another 10 minutes and the complete shock on her face, I could tell she really did not know I was a lesbian. Oh shit! I began to prepare myself for a fundamentalist Christian, throw holy water on my head, talk in tongues, revival/megafest/ hell and damnation type deal to begin at minute... but it didn't. She yelled out, "Oh my God, you are my first lesbian friend!" I almost cried. "I'm still your friend?” I said, only half-asking. "Of course! How shallow do you think I am?!" Then she grabbed me and gave me the biggest hug in the whole word.
We finished our drinks with a lively discussion of lesbian sex, porno, my relationship history, and lots, lots more. I went home feeling really good about my generation. There are at least 20 people who knew about my sexuality, and did not gossip to her. I mean, I can think of 5 who had regular opportunities to tell my bestest friend from high school that I was a homo, but they didn't. And she comes from one of those middle class Black Atl families that everybody knows, everybody respects, everybody expects to be hella snobby. You know, the Jack and Jill type. When we stopped talking years ago, I just knew I had lost her forever. I didn't think she would be friends with a gay girl like me. Now, I feel like our friendship might last a lifetime. That makes me really happy.
I hung out with my bestest friend from high school last night. I was hella nervous cuz I knew she would ask who I was dating, and I knew I would have to respond with info on poo face, meaning I would have to tell her that I'm a big ole lesbian. We really hadn't seen each other since 1999 at her sister's funeral. Plus, her family knows Nde's family from back in the day on some Black political Atl shit. And to top it all off, Nde took dance at their family's dance studio way way way back in the day. Coming out to her would also involve outing poo face; needless to say I was not looking forward to that convo.
So there we were, my bestest friend from high school and I chillin at Twist. I ask her to give me the play by play of her life since 1999. She talks about boys and school and jobs, etc. I am freakin out cuz I was hoping she would mention being gay or hint that she knew I was gay or somethin! She did not. She is the most hetero girl on earth!!!! Grrrrrreat. Now it's my turn. I stuttered, blushed, covered my face with the napkin, whined a little (the baby in me was out full force), swallowed hard and asked if I could start my play by play from the present. She said, sure (looking at me as though all the theatrics were indications of me losing my mind). I sipped my yummy sangria, buying some time, and then I was ready. I said, "I am in a committed relationship right now"... (pause, sip sangria)..."we have been dating on and off for about a year and a half"... (pause, sip sangria)..."you know the person"... (pause, look at her face for any hint that she already knows what I am going to say)..."The person I am dating is...ummm...ummm...Ndelea!!!!"
She looked as if I had said the craziest shit she'd ever heard in her life! She chugged her margarita and screamed "WHAT!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!?” The waitress comes over; either alerted by the screams or the now empty glasses of alcohol in front of us. My bestest friend from high school orders another round of drinks and immediately starts gulping once her glass arrives. I was completely shocked! I found it hard to believe that in the past 5 or so years of me being out of the closet, no one had told her anything. We have lived in the same city, knowing the same people, going to the same places, and no one gossiped about my sexuality? No one hinted that I had gotten turned out at ole Aggie? No one at all? Wow! From the screams of disbelief that continued for at least another 10 minutes and the complete shock on her face, I could tell she really did not know I was a lesbian. Oh shit! I began to prepare myself for a fundamentalist Christian, throw holy water on my head, talk in tongues, revival/megafest/ hell and damnation type deal to begin at minute... but it didn't. She yelled out, "Oh my God, you are my first lesbian friend!" I almost cried. "I'm still your friend?” I said, only half-asking. "Of course! How shallow do you think I am?!" Then she grabbed me and gave me the biggest hug in the whole word.
We finished our drinks with a lively discussion of lesbian sex, porno, my relationship history, and lots, lots more. I went home feeling really good about my generation. There are at least 20 people who knew about my sexuality, and did not gossip to her. I mean, I can think of 5 who had regular opportunities to tell my bestest friend from high school that I was a homo, but they didn't. And she comes from one of those middle class Black Atl families that everybody knows, everybody respects, everybody expects to be hella snobby. You know, the Jack and Jill type. When we stopped talking years ago, I just knew I had lost her forever. I didn't think she would be friends with a gay girl like me. Now, I feel like our friendship might last a lifetime. That makes me really happy.
posted by GeminiMoonPoet at 8/11/2005 11:09:00 AM
6 Comments:
Whoohoo!!! I almost needed a drink myself reading this one. Let's toast to lasting friendships and a brave brave Jocie.
I'm so happy that things went well for you.
Beautiful.
i'm so proud of you. congrats. that be right righteousness. (and don't be talking 'bout jack and jill. i was a card carryin' member for many a day back in the day.)
Thanks guys. I was really drunk when it was all over, but I'm glad I did it.
p.s.(for L.Boogie) - jack and jill is a cult.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
true dat. but it was fun times nonetheless. negros in seattle need negro cults. it ain't always a bad thing. (although i did think everyone were snobs when i first joined. i was later corrected once i got to know them).
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