New Year's Eve

On New Year's Eve at sundown Poo, Mie, and I had a prayer circle. We meditated, chanted, prayed in the name of Jesus, called out to our ancestors, and honored each other with love-energy and love-words. I was on my fifth day of a cleansing fast at that point. I decided that I wanted to leave all the crap I was carrying arround with me in 2005. I proclaimed 2006 to be a year of action, and not reaction. I stated in the circle that I wanted to tap into the girl I once was. The girl who was ambitious, driven, confident in her abilities, and willing to take on the world.

So far, I am on that path. I have spent the past few weeks listening to my inner voice and acting on my truths. It's the scariest shit I have ever done in my life, but it is also the most wonderful thing I have ever done in my life.

2006 is going to be a wild ride. I hope I am ready...

Baby Steps

I haven't blogged in forever. I have so much going on in my life. To me it seems like the perfect time to purge my mind of these thoughts, letting my fingers pound them into one of the two or three key boards I stroke daily. But that hasn't happened. When things were really bad, my excuse for not blogging was being too embarrassed about the state of my life to open up. Now that things are ok, I am nervous that speaking words of positivism will surely ruin everything. Even at this very moment, my truth is illusive as I still do not feel comfortable divulging what's going on with me.

I will say that today I shipped off my Articles of Incorporation for my nonprofit, and added one more member to my 5 person start-up board. I will also say that I was fired from the horrible job that I was struggling with last year. They actually forced me to resign, but it's still bullshit. The last thing I will say is that I can honestly say I am not being strangled by the suffocating hands of depression. For one of the first times in my life, I really believe that everything will be ok. Everything will work out to my greatest and highest good.

I have so much more to say, but I am just taking a few baby steps today.