What y'all n**gas know about da Dirty South!

I am on a dirty south kick right now. I was initially playing the song "Thought Process" from Goodie MOB's first album, Soul Food. The last verse is performed by Andre Benjamin (not Andre 3000, though he has evolved into a dope dude, they are definitely different), and strongly exhibits his lyrical genius. I suggest listening to it when you have some time.

I changed to "Liberation" cuz I felt it was more inline with my post "Republicans should be Ugly."

A tribute to Atlanta Public Schools: My senior English teacher was the shiznit. She was also a fan of Goodie MOB. One day she wrote the group's name one the board and asked if we knew what it meant. Of course we did not. Then she wrote under it, "The Good die Mostly Over Bullshit". From the discussion that followed she moved us into that day's lesson, the Autobiography of Malcolm X. I remember sitting in class with a present day understanding of the moment in history we were studying. Good teachers are hard to forget.

Sista Rosa

I have a vision. It is a mission I have been called to complete. I am afraid. I feel incompetent and unprepared. I feel humbled by the scale of this endeavor. But, in the midst of some the complications of institutionalized racism, Rosa Parks and many others organized a calculated, intricate attack on the capitalist monster that was (is) standing on their (our) backs to build the richest nation in the world. So today, I pledge to push myself, and to push my vision to the end. I vow to move through my fear to do my work. I honor the life of Rosa Parks, Claudette Colvin, and all my women ancestors that fought so that I could dream.

My Neck, My Back..

...My elbow and my knee: areas of discomfort right now. I'm still feelin kinda wierd after the accident, but I don't have time in my day to go to the chiropractor. Soooo, I haven't been back. I may have to break down and go like two more times, cuz I have regular pain (like on the daily) in the same areas.


"I can dress up like a slave if you want me to. "
I did a show at a local big bookstore chain last Saturday morning. There were 3 other performers there. One was a black lady who was a story-teller. I overheard her talking to a white teacher about the different stories she offered related to Black History Month. I wasn't really all in her convo until I heard her say "I can dress up like a slave if you want me to." Fa real! Dress up like a slave. I mean, that is some serious shit homie! I had visions of Bamboozled and "niggas is a beautiful thang." I knew what she would do, dress up like Aunt Jermima and tell Brer Rabbit stories. TOoo much homie! Toooooooooo much! She said it so casually, too. I can come to your preschool dressed like a slave and tell your little rich white kids how slaves worked a lot, and sang songs by the campfire. Funny how fast she jumped into that roll to help show white folks about some shit they did in the first place!

It is TIME!

The universe is working in my life! Things are coming together to lead me back to my true self, and I am ready!!

Brief synopsis: When I was in high school, I was involved in an organization called Rites of Passage. For a year I worked on myself in a circle of womyn who were all working toward "crossing over" into the next stage of our womanhood. We learned about our ancestry, learned self-defense, cooked meals, went on trips, and just grew in ourselves in a space that was safe and just for us. During this time my GPA went from 2.8 to 3.8, I grew out my perm, I stopped eating meat, I began to wrap my head, and I starting learning to live comfortably in my own skin.

The group was facilitated by a magnificent spirit that connected with me on a level that no one other than my mother and my grandmother ever had. She adopted me as her godchild, and stayed close to me as I continued to transition out of high school and into college.

WELL, I went to college and into battle. I knew that to come out of the battle alive, I would have to do it without my godmother's protection. I was battling with myself, and I had to face myself alone. Of course I made it out, but I feared that I had severed my ties with my godmother. I couldn't find her and had no way of getting in touch with her. I was afraid that her absence was because I pushed her away. I thought I'd lost her forever.

Fast forward to this Monday (5 years since after our last contact): I am sitting a meeting with a guy who works at a local middle school hosting boy-centered programs. He then starts telling us about the girl's program at the school. It is facilitated by my godmother! I had to keep it together, cuz I was still at work. I gave him my card and told him to make sure he passed it on to her. Three days went by, no call. Finally, Thursday morning my office phone rings. It is my godmother on the other end. We chatted briefly and I promised to call her back later. I called her at around 11:30. We talked until about 2:45AM! Soooooooooooooooooooo much came into focus for me in that convo. I can't even begin to express how many questions were answered, how many cloudy moments became clear, it was just like...WHOA!

We are meeting Saturday evening to spend some quality time discussing errrything. The only thing I am not looking forward to is changing my diet. When my godmother is helping me facilitate my own personal growth, there is no time for junk food. The growth I am ready to make has to be physical as well as spiritual and mental. I asked for this! I let go of the cliff to spread my wings, and look what I got- flight lessons and some wind beneath my wings. Pass the organic foods, candles, sister circles, chants, churches, temples, books... I done came home, thangs 'bout ta change 'round here!!!!!

Foo Fighters

I really like this song...

Best of You

I’ve got another confession to make
I’m your fool
Everyone’s got their chains to break
Holdin’ you

Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn’t have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can’t choose
I swear I’ll never give in
I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh...

Oh...Oh...Oh...Oh...

Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
You trust, you must
Confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

I’ve got another confession my friend
I’m no fool
I’m getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new

Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I’ll never give in
I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh...

Loose like bowels after collard greens...

Since my last accident, my right leg has been hurting on pretty much a daily basis. I think it is because I slammed my foot on the brake immediately before the accident, making my muscle tense as the car jerked into the other lane when hit. So I am discussing this theory with boss lady yesterday. She brings up how drunk drivers are never really hurt in accidents because they are so loose and their muscles are so loose. They don't fight the accident. Then she tells me a story about skiing as a child with her father. He would tell her that she had to learn how to fall. She had to learn how to just let go, relax her muscles, and fall freely. That way she wouldn't get hurt.

Riiiiiiight. I guess that would be something higher than boss lady telling me this story, huh. Soooo I feel like I have let go of the cliff and tried to fly. But I am still clinching my muscles, still fight the downward plunge, still not free falling. I feel like that is why this descent hurts so much. That is why it feels so difficult. So now that I have let go, I have to figure out how to relax into the fall. Otherwise, I will be looking for a reference for a good spiritual chiropractor...

Hooray for October!

Well, I made it through one hell of a September. I feel like I just woke up. Kinda like all of the mess that happened was a bad dream, and the only reality that exists is this moment.

I just had a meeting with my boss that was at best comical and at worst insane. She is setting me up for failure. I don't think it is intential, but micromanaging and unrealistic expectations are always recipes for disaster. But I am a miracle worker. I can make the impossible look easy, and I plan on doing just that. I know that I have to have a new position by January. So my goal (no pun intended) will be to kick ass until I get my shit going like only I can, and to then bounce, justifying my departure with the insane and documented work load being handed to me right now. Hey, I made it through September, the rest will be a breeze. (Though I told my boss that her plan would put me through hell, to which she smiled!)